Apr. 24th, 2010

tokimi: (prayer)
What is there to report? Nothing much has gone on.

My birthday was last week. I got some books, some kitchen y stuff that were needed, like a microwave and electric kettle, and some flowers, all of which I'm exceedingly excited about. I spent the birthday money from my grandmother on some stuff from Lush, bar shampoo which is amazing and awesome. I shared the Lush-love with my sister for her birthday. I bought a copy of Fight Club, because it was severely lacking in my movie collection. My sister took me out to dinner the day after my birthday in a joint celebration with hers and my birthday. Amy took me out to dinner the night of my birthday and we came back with mochi ice cream to watch Idiocracy. I don't think Amy stopped laughing.

Right now, I'm chilling out, watching Gladiator, watching Joaquin Phoenix emo the fuck out to the emperor.

Murphy seems to be settling in well! He's been showing off his desire for popcorn and bell hats. He seems to be happy. Which is good, I think I'll start trying to handle him in May. That gives him a few weeks to get settled in and used to the routine and everythiing.

Things between Eric and I seem to be going well. He's planning on visiting in June. Which is exciting and scary at the same time, but I'm mostly excited about it. It's hard not to be, really. Scared because I'm so unsure about about myself after the whole mess with Adam, and sorta with Kyle, that sort of rejection kinda burns in someone's mind, so what can you do? We've had talks about it, but I'm not allowed to be too emo about it because that's just a fucking downer. I think I'm mostly scared because of the way I put on the extra weight in my depression and the medications and the like. Not that I've ever been super skinny or anything like that.

Ugh, I don't want to sit here and spend all this time on my stupid weight. I'm going to start walking, and start yoga, and try to eat better, since I'm seeing a nutritionist next week.

No matter how often I refer to Eric as Eric to all of my friends, he's still Krisael in my head, which makes it feel like it's another secret altogether. Apparently other people have this problem as well. I know Patrick does, having read the entry I saw recently by him. Funny how that works. It amuses me somewhat. All of my friends and family know him as Eric. But in my brain, he's still Kris. Oh well, either name works, I know who he is.

We talk about the future a lot. After DBT, what will happen, leaving Seattle, leaving Alaska, who goes where, or if we both leave our area. We talk about going up to Alaska to see the northern lights in the winter and whether or not my coat is good enough at it's -10 degrees rating and what not. It's exciting. And seems only the tiniest bit premature, but somehow right.

I'm happy.

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Tokimi

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