tokimi: (teh hotness)
Probably shouldn't have waited a year to write. Not that I was waiting, per se, but the depression after the break up with Eric and subsequent whirlwind wooing by Chris was... um... a whirlwind.

So to jump to things, I've been seeing Chris for nearly a year, or a year, or something like that. He moved back up to Seattle in September, and we officially moved in together in February. Murphy and Adam both live with us, and terrorize or whore it up, according to their own natures. We're currently looking for a larger apartment, townhouse or house with or without a roommate, depending on what happens. I'm very happy with my life with Chris, overall, though we need to buckle down and start saving for the move. We do have the ballet, a symphony and PAX on the horizon, plus a trip back to New Hampshire in September for -his- friend's wedding, ironically enough.

I'm back in DBT and at the halfway mark now. We just started Distress Tolerance again, which is good. I think I'm excited about this module because I finally made a box out of a very bright gift box from Daiso. I've put the things that make me smile in there, and help to break moods and stuff. Olivia's kindergarten pic is one of them! But that's because I don't want my sister and brother in law to ever have to explain what happened to Auntie Margo. Therapy seems to be going well, I slipped off the bandwagon for a little bit, but seem to be back on it. Trying to learn to self discipline myself into being responsible, but it's kinda hard. And sometimes it really makes me feel like I'm the black sheep of the family. Mostly because my sisters are both successful in their chosen fields, and are working on or have received their masters. And I'm... in therapy, not working. Eeeeh... C'est la vie? I don't know.

I went to New Hampshire last December and saw a bunch of people for the first time since I graduated high school. I plan on packing as many people into the five day trip this fall as possible. We'll see how it goes. Lorelei's definitely on the list of people to see since I didn't get to see her last time I was there.

Chris wants me to read the Wheel of Time, and I'm stuck halfway through the first book. I said I would read the whole thing, but it's so slow, and slogging through it is painful. I'm trying, but I just don't think it's my thing? And it's not that I don't like fantasy or epic reads or whatever. I just don't know, but I feel as though I'm letting him down by not finishing the book. He says I like to cuddle it more than I like to actually read it. He could be right. I read it on the bus, mostly when I have nothing better to do.

I have things to do this weekend, it's amazing. I have to mail my copy of the Last Unicorn comic to Dawn to get signed by Peter Beagle, and go to Lush to buy a birthday present for one of our friends, Beth... well, and buy some stuff for me, mostly moisturizer. Like I need a reason to go to Lush! That's really Dawn's fault, since she introduced Lush to me before she moved.

Um, what else has happened? My sisters both moved. Mandy to New Mexico with her fiancee for school, and Cory, Tim and Olivia to New Hampshire to be closer to Tim's family. And prolly my dad and stepmom, too! Mandy and Russell will be visiting Seattle in July, yay, and I hope to see them at least once, if not more. Chris is nervous about meeting my younger sister and her fiancee, but he'll do fine! Or he better!

Lots of stuffs I want to do this year. PAX, the ballet, the symphony, NaNoWriMo, the Uproar Festival, meet Chris's family, graduate DBT... um... The year is half over, gotta hop to! Though, some of those events can't be rushed, or have certain dates. Most of those dates are unchangeable. Oh well.

Anyways, not a bad start to journaling again...

Lacuna Coil

May. 5th, 2010 10:25 pm
tokimi: (meeeee)
Lacuna Coil on June 6th, at Neumo's... $15 advance purchase... Anyone going? I don't wanna go alone.
tokimi: (alone)
Friends of mine are getting a divorce. Now, let's be fair here. The husband is one of my better/best friends from high school, and the wife is just someone I've stayed in contact with because of him. She and I weren't very good friends in high school, and we probably wouldn't have stayed in contact with one another if they hadn't gotten married in the first place. All I really want to do is write on her facebook about what a skeazy slut she is and how she's throwing away the best guy she'll probably ever get. That's probably not exercising restraint or social skills very well. Seriously, 1:30am over a guy friend's house sounds awfully close to a booty call, especially when you come home drunk. Writing things along the lines of "we're two different people with different life goals" doesn't sound like you want to work anything out.

I feel sorry for him.
tokimi: (singing)
Rash of good things happening. Maintaining good things in therapy, I think. The family reunion thing slash grandmother's 90th birthday party went well.

Saw Repo! The Genetic Opera, which has music produced by my Yoshiki, so that was pretty awesome. [livejournal.com profile] sobloodycute tipped me off on it, and I watched it the other day when Alex was pussy footing around on IRC about whether or not we were going to RP. It's fun! Gory and pretty visceral but pretty good nonetheless, and I need it on DVD. Planning on doing that. It has Sarah Brightman in it, as well as Paris Hilton, and Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. xD The soundtrack is great, reminds me a bit of Dr. Horrible in its epicness, but different. I posted a quote on my wall on Facebook, and got a few responses with answering quotes. Pretty awesome about that.

Lastly, Krisael got a hold of me recently. Or I him, him getting on IRC, basically, and reconnecting. Which makes me giddy and happy all at once that we're talking again and who knows what will come of it, makes me feel a lot of other things, too. Good things I hope. Jon formerly from Aion threatening him not to behave like a douchewaffle amuses me greatly. Not that they talked, but I passed on the message dutifully.
tokimi: (Domo Sutra)
[livejournal.com profile] sobloodycute is over atm.

Amongst me making out with Domo, we also have this lovely pic:



Awesome.
tokimi: (blue)
A few things while I sit around here and chill out.

I discovered Pandora. I don't know why it's taken that long to figure this out. I'm always the last on the trend train. Still holding out against Facebook. Better than the radio, better than randomizing my playlist as it'll play stuff I don't have and should.

Kyle and I broke up. Largely due to the fact that he was unable to make time for me in our relationship. He'd say he'd call, and then never would. I don't begrudge him going out and having fun with his friends, but I do take exception to being put up on the shelf for days on end until -he- was ready to have a girlfriend again. I blame a lot of this on his age, of the pure self centered-ness of being that age, that some people don't seem to be ready to -share- their lives when in a relationship. If you can make time for video games, you should be able to make time for the person you claim to love. In the end, I just wasn't that important, and it fucking kills me to say it. Actions speak louder than words, and being able to let someone go, and to do anything -but- talk to them... In a relationship that is based on nothing but talking, when you aren't, there isn't much left.

What's torturing me now, is that in the week or so we've broken up, he's decided that he can message me more in this space of time, than he had in the entire month. I wasn't important enough until he lost me, again? It's difficult to say what's going on in his mind. Needless to say, I'm hurt, I'm crushed, and I'm going to move on because there isn't anything left in this relationship. As my friend said, "he's a lazy tardface" (direct quote) and that I'm too good for it. Gotta appreciate the way your friends will take care of you when they think you need it.

So of course, all of my insecurities have come back to the forefront. Not being good enough to fucking talk to, being abandoned or discarded... tie into the fact that at the same time, another online friend has apparently dropped me for no reason that I can discern, it's just eating away at me. "Friend" won't tell me and I finally told him off and called him off for not being man enough to tell me to my face why he's not talking to me. I suspect it's another ego trip of his. Being forgotten or discarded is the worst thing I can think of, the absolute horror to my mind, and it's happening in strange places and by more than one person. Enough to break fragile egos and self confidence.

But you know what? Fuck 'em. It's their loss. They'll grow up, maybe, someday, and realize what they done, and regret it.

Jessie's coming over tonight, and I'm working on picking things up a bit. She's allergic to cats, but she's just gonna have to suffer through Adam's presence and hanging about. He's still a good cat. I bet he's slept on the sheets under the futon. It seems like something he'd do. Sitting here innocently.

I beat Dragon Age on my first play through finally. Going through for a human noble now, female, though I should probably be playing a guy or something. Maybe on my next play through. Slogging through Aion slowly. Considering going back to WoW on Immortal's server, but not being a part of Immortal given that I quit the guild on Aion and pretty much called them out for some of their behaviour there, and the running of the chapter into the ground and the like. Oh well. But at least on Lightbringer, there's a few people I know. I'd like to start or get into a static 10 man group that didn't suck too much. It would be pretty nice, and having people that you can trust to do the work... etc. There's a lot of things I'd like to do with that.

I should comment on Christmas, but that could be another entry, I think.
tokimi: (cunning)
This was so appropriate:


www.kimmidoll.com

Amy got this for me when we hung out to pay me back for the books I gave her. I surprised her with the MKR materials book that I somehow had two copies of. We saw it at Uwajimaya and had to have it. It's a keychain of the Kimmidoll, Toki, which was just too appropriate. They have a ton of them. That's my Sigg bottle in the background.

Also. Still want a netbook.
tokimi: (meeeee)
Yeah, I totally failed in actually doing it this year. I got very distracted with Aion and didn't bother to do anything with writing this month. I suppose I should have more dedication in the future, but who can say? I'm working on some RP stuff at the moment as well, so I can say that's what else I'm working on?

I get to see Amy today! Yay. I have some stuffs for her, too. :D

Also. I dislike moving. Even in such a disorganized way. I hate doing the dishes too.

I'm changing the layout and colour scheme for my livejournal, once I get around to it.

Going back and retagging 1200 entries -sucks-, especially the drivel I wrote back in high school.

I still want a netbook.
tokimi: (contemplation)
I did it because [livejournal.com profile] quarla did it.


visited 30 states (60%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

You can see both trips cross country, and the few airport layovers. Layovers totally count, right?

Contemplating NaNoWriMo this year. Have an idea, Kyle suggested it after this wicked dream I had. The story would be mostly set in modern times, a fantasy revolving around reincarnation and what not. Not quite to the extent of the Troy Game or anything like that, but mostly from one life, to the current. Might have to do a bit more research on England or something to make the plot work, or just use an alternate US of a sorts. I haven't decided. I should go check on my NaNoWriMo account to see if it's still active. I haven't done it in 4-5 years.

Turns out I had to reregister for NaNoWriMo: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/571345

Added Abilify to my drug regimen, and am going back on my sleeping pills to regulate my strange sleeping habits as of late. Hopefully, this will help.
tokimi: (Default)
Ok. So. I resisted getting a MySpace for a very long time, and when I finally did it, I think I got up to about 30 people I knew, most of whom were friends in real life, and some who were online. Now, MySpace is a bit barren, and everyone's all about Facebook. Stop following whatever is trendy, for fuck's sake.

Not to mention, my parents are on Facebook, my sisters and some of my other family are all on Facebook. There is no security whatsoever if one of my friends puts up a strange pic of me in their gallery and it's not protected, so screw that. And I know, I know there will be shit that'll be posted and commented on or whatever that I do not want my family seeing.

Also. I blame this on [livejournal.com profile] natsume since he sent me a text with "pics of stuff on my facebook". Fucking trendwhores.
tokimi: (waiting)
I keep meaning to update in a fuller capacity and I haven't really done it.

There's only a few key points to note at the moment.

* Kyle messaged me a few weeks ago and we talked things over. Our relationship is on the mend. He initiated our initial conversation, and I said a lot of things that I had refrained from since that day in July we had broken up. I do mean to fully explain this in the future, so, stay tuned? I've told my sisters and some of my friends about it already, and I just haven't quite committed it here, though I mean to. I understand that some people may feel this is the wrong choice, but as I've already explained to my sisters and my therapist, it feels right somehow, and I hesitate about ignoring my gut feeling.

* Sherzad, aka Tekno died last year in August. I know there are several people on my friend's list who knew the guy, and felt that they too should know about this. It did take a year for me to find out about this, and even longer for me to remember his last name to look up how since the original source of information didn't know how. (I heard it from Justin, who heard it from some girl that apparently knew Sherz, and her information was sketchy at best.) Apparently, it was a car accident, and I believe he wasn't wearing his seatbelt. Any other details beyond that, I'm not sure. He left behind an adorable little girl named Samantha.

* They finally removed the desk thing from my apartment. Quite anticlimatic after the other two topics, but I am inordinately pleased about it, and have been planning to organize about it. I am still in the decision process about fully retiring my desktop or not, as I've moved almost everything worth saving from it onto the second harddrive on my laptop, which my dad bought me during my trip out east. Planning a trip to Ikea the coming weekend to buy another media shelf and a dresser. I had miscalculated on the capacity of the shelves I bought before I went on the epic road trip. (Picture here.) I'm in the process of rehoming things and waiting on the Ikea trip to further organize. I'm hanging up posters, and discovered I have a Luis Royo print that was still in shrink wrap in one of my poster tubes. I'm not sure where I got this or when.

* Aion launches in less than a month. Excited about this as WoW has just gotten duller and duller and the latest announcement regarding the next expansion just looks boring and somewhat anticlimatic. The latest raid has been boring as well, and it's only because they've released one boss a week that people haven't blown through the content quickly.

* I still need to resize the photos from my trip and post them online. I should sit down and do that at some point.

* I've started RPing again, after nearly 18 months or longer in hiatus. It's refreshing. I have a short story I wrote earlier this year that I mean to post on my LJ for more feedback. Decky has been abyssmal at such things as he recognizes the main character and keeps going on about how she should be more faithful to the personality he knows of her, rather than taking the story at face value. I'm still waiting on his essay. I started going through past logs of certain characters, and I still get that same squicky feeling from a certain scene played out more than 6 years ago. Crazy.

* I'm adopting Cory's cat, Adam, because he's recently begun to fight with his sister, Aurora. We're not sure why. And Adam loves me. So I'm taking him. I miss having a cat, though I'm sure in a few weeks, I'll be ready to climb the walls with having to deal with a cat on my laptop or pawing through my hair at night when I want to sleep. We'll see!
tokimi: (meeeee)
Since I got to Massachusetts, the weather's felt more appropriate to Seattle winters than New England summers. It was rainy, and overcast, and generally wet. Which isn't a huge deal, pretty used to that sorta thing, being as that I LIVE in Seattle and have for several years. But I was expecting to deal with hot, humid and the general nastiness that comes along with summers in this area. It has, finally cleared up, at least for a little bit, for which I am extremely glad.

I'm actually just sitting in my parents' yard, with the still massively huge golden retriever, Max. He's eating sticks, I'm blogging and listening to music on my iPod since I don't want to needlessly drain the battery on my laptop. I'm enjoying the warm weather, the nice, steady breeze and he outsideness from the shade of this huge oak tree. I should take pics of my parents' property, it's really very pretty, no surprise being out in the sticks somewhere, and Max probably would've been happier if he had grown up here, since he doesn't seem to like the big, wide openness in his old age. I just tried to convince him to give me this stick so I could throw it for him, but he wanted nothing to do with that. Hey, I tried. There is no accounting for dogs or their taste in persuits. Max's just happens to be devouring sticks, for whatever reason.

The flight down to Cali was a non event. Nothing to really comment about there. Quarla came and got me at the airport, and we chilled out for a few hours at her place before crashing for the night.

The next day, we went somewhere that was sorta equidistant from her, Joyless and Mikura and met the WoW-boys for lunch. Whereas I might have been a bit nervy about introducing one friend to a group of friends, it went rather well. She plays WoW, so getting along with other WoW dorks was pretty easy and nothing to be concerned about, as it turned out. We hung out all together for a bit, and Q suggested going to the Blizzard building and getting Murphy pics there on the way back to her place. We ended up splitting up for a bit, Q went back home to finish packing and the like, and I went with Mik and Joy and we all went to Blizzard. Joy works there, so he got us in past security and showed us around, after we signed this confidentiality waiver. I have pics of Murphy there, too.

I incidentally, also have pics of a finger printed smiley face on Mik's precious Infinity G35, and a couple of knicks in the paint. The knicks I am not responsible for, but I take pride in the smiley face, which he immediately wiped off with some spray stuff he keeps in the trunk after graciously letting me get a picture of it. I immediately posted the pic of the smiley on our guild forums, and have been bribed, since, to post the pics I took of Mik and Omatre on the forums in return for "any piece of loot off Yogg Saron" by our guild leader. I should hold out for the Soulscribe.

Mik bought me some In & Out that night and it was everything I remembered. Soooo gooooood... I ended up having two In & Out burgers in less than 24 hours, because Quarla and I got some when we stopped in Vegas and met her best friend, Manda.

Quarla's dad reminds me a lot of my dad. The tech nuts who want the perfect picture, the perfect audio experience for their movie viewing pleasure. They're both software engineers of a sort. Her dad seems a bit more easy going than mine, though. And my dad is taller and bigger. Heh.

The actual trip from Cali to NY/MA wasn't so bad. Spent approximately 2 of the 4 days in the car, if you do the math. About 12 hours in the car a day, for 4 days. We didn't get lost, but after hitting I-80, it was pretty easy. We did meet Smerffy and Omatre on the way out here, as well as stopping in Nebraska to see Stephanie, who put us up for the night and fed us. Steph and I stayed up until 2-3am and talked in her room while Q slept. My job was to stay awake and talk, and navigate, and to protect the geckos from direct sunlight, which I think I did admirably.

The geckos, 3 leopards named Ripley, Newt and Rising Fire, make me want to get geckos now, but I bet Adam would try to eat it and that would be pretty traumatic for all parties involved.

Also,4x RWs do not burn smoothly in a car. I imagine that 52x R's would, though! Thanks to Steph though, for the RWs, so we got some fresh music in the car after Lincoln.

I took some pics along the way. The scenary got boring after the Rockies until we got to NY. We did stop at two of the viewpoints in Utah and got some pictures. Quarla's camera picked up the colour differences a lot better than my new one did, but her's had a professional quality lens on it, so there you go.

We cut out the Buffalo detour, and just went from Toledo straight to Plattsburgh. Matt (Omatre) was pretty cool and came out to the hotel we were staying at and picked us up to take us out to a late dinner. He hung out with us in our hotel room for a few hours before we had to call it a night. Matt's pretty good people and I really enjoyed meeting him. We took a slight detour through the Adirondacks towards the end of the last leg, and it was very pretty. No cell reception to speak of though, but to be expected all things considered.

We stayed in Plattsburgh for a few days before we came down to my dad's place. It was an easy, 4 hour drive, and we even took the ferry over into Vermont across Lake Champlain. We went by Manchester, and I waved at people and the exits I knew, and gleed about being back in this area. We went to Boston on Sunday and met one of -her- friends, and he was a bit quiet and shy about me, but seemed like a pretty nice guy. Towards the end of the visit, he started getting a bit more talkative towards me, which was cool. I picked up a stupidly expensive Red Sox sweatshirt and the first book of Fathom that included the first 3 story arcs, which made me happy since my first volume of the graphic novel disappeared at some point. This book contained a bit more than the old copy, so it's all good.

And now, I am here, in Massachusetts, just sorta chilling out, waiting on people to get a hold of me. I recommend texting my phone (which you can do from my LJ profile) or IMing me on some messenger or another, because my dad's house is a cell phone black hole for me, and I barely get any reception to speak of out here. See this entry, which I had originally botched and posted as private: http://tokimi.livejournal.com/307775.html for my phone number or comment on it to make plans. ;)

I miss (----) since we haven't gotten to talk a whole lot with the 3 hour time difference and our difference in schedules. I've been asking him to wake me up when he's ready for bed so we've talked a bit then. I hope all is going well for him at home with the job hunt and the like.

I should be editing pictures and getting them posted fairly soon. (Fake) Murphy pictures especially.
tokimi: (hats off)
I invade California in 18 hours or something like that.

Cory, Mandy, Tim and Olivia and I are going to get lunch, chill for a little bit, and then the Currans are taking me to the airport, where I'll be bored for a while after getting through security. Bringing my DS, my ipod, and the new camera that I bought a few days ago, so I can take better long distance pics than I could with my old one.

Q's picking me up from the airport, and then Sunday, we're gonna hang out with Mik and Joyless from WoW for a bit before settling down and kicking back. And then, Monday, we start the epic trip.

Now I'm finally sleepy, and I have to be up in a reasonable amount of time to do the dishes, and pick up a bit more before I leave.
tokimi: (hrm?)
I think I'm climbing up the dork ladder again.

My new guildmate and fellow mage, when we aren't theorycrafting mage crit rates, is recommending anime and telling me I have to watch it. So I'm downloading Death Note 1-37 as we speak. This conversation has gone on for half an hour or more. We already busted out various anime themes and titles, and what we own on DVD. Hence the musical choice. (I still <3 you Hotohori.)
tokimi: (funny haha ubsurd)
Having talked to [livejournal.com profile] quarla a bit more today, and my dad, and Wes about all of this... it sounds pretty solid that I'll be heading out east with her, driving along the southern half of the country and then heading up north along the eastern seaboard. The actual itinerary isn't planned at the moment, nor when we'd be leaving, or when I'd be hitting New Hampshire.

According to Q, we'll be driving straight through Lincoln, though, Steph, so definitely gonna stop and see you and your menagerie of animals. Maybe I'll steal a kitten and bring it with me everwhere. Though not likely, kittens in carriers for another 4 days probably get unhappy and make messes. And that's no good for another 4 days in the car.

I'll have to bring my iPod, laptop and prolly my DS (need to get a DS Simply card). Some books. Maybe download some audio books for us to listen to. Borrow a suitcase from my sister for the trip. I want to get a new digital camera for the trip, because mine's 3.2mp and that's not very high for taking decent pics of landscapes and the like. But that will require more research before I actually make a purchase there.

Anyway. I'll keep the details posted. Chances are, we'll be blogging on the trip.
tokimi: (innocence)
Happy Holidays folks, hope you're all happy and safe this season.

Thanks for being awesome friends.
tokimi: (prayer)
I don't know if it's caffeine or insomnia, but I am still awake. This isn't a cause for celebration, especially as that I shall be busy through most of the day in a few hours. Therapist, then some shopping, then home, then dinner, raiding, and then finally, after 9pm, being able to kick it and relax. I don't know how I will manage this.

I'm suddenly inspired to change the layout and colours on my Livejournal. This will surely take some time. On that note, I also want to reformat my desktop, get it all working without its shitty memory leak, find out why my laptop will randomly disconnect, and set up a remote desktop on my PC so I can access it on the desktop... from 5 feet away. So lazy to even want to do that, and even lazier to not have done it yet.

I do not believe that reformating your troublesome desktop is good to attempt when you haven't slept yet.

Tashina wants to go see the Dark Knight. I am totally up for seeing it again, and I convinced her to see it at the Imax. It's playing at the Pacific Science Center through to September, so there's plenty of time. If any of my local friends are interested (Liam, Dawn+Drew, Shushu, Rachel, [AMY, if you lived here right now] etc, etc), it will probably be a weekend, but not this coming weekend. Suggestions are welcomed. Txt me through my profile, or leave a comment, or whatever for ideas.
tokimi: (bejeweled)
I can't believe I didn't say this earlier, like when I got home... I mean, I had posted on my guild forums, and messaged half of my AIM/MSN contact lasts to tell them all what I'm going to write here.

THE DARK KNIGHT WAS FUCKING AWESOME: And you should all go out and see it.

Caitlin and I saw the midnight showing as a final hurrah. And it was totally worth it. Some people were dressed up, Monster was present and handing out energy drinks. There were beach balls.

PS: I love my friends list. I think I found 4-5 people posting (earlier than I did) the same thing I wrote here. I'm in wicked awesome company.
tokimi: (contemplation)
Everyone keeps telling me that I ought to update my livejournal. Well. I can't even say it's everyone, because the number of people who read it are few and far between, so I guess that's just a bit of an exageration. Either way, not really a big deal? It's healthy for me to write, and I really should be trying to write more. Sometimes, I just sit at the keyboard and not write. Or I do something else, but essentially, it's the same thing and it's not writing.

Right now, however, there are few other things for me to be doing. I'm in the car, on I-5 and we'd just crossed the bridge into Washington.

I slept rather well. But that could've been the awesome pile of pillows, or the fact that I was drunk at the time. Either way, I slept well, even without my nightcap of jaegerbomb, which is just as well when you consider that taking a shot of an energy drink right before sleep is counterproductive.

It's Easter weekend. At Olivia's birthday party, Mandy had asked if she and her boyfriend, Darren, could come over to Cory's place for Easter. Originally, Cory hadn't had any really big plans for Easter. Our family's got 2-3 holidays that require get togethers. And Easter really isn't one of them. But then we decided anyway to go over and do something, regardless. A quiet, small affair, without much ado.

Mandy messaged me a few days ago to let me know that I could hook a ride with her, Darren and Tina on their way to Portland. It only occurred to me on Thursday, that if they were going all the way to Portland, who's to say that I shouldn't come with them and harass Melanie and her husband, whom I had never met? Which was exactly what I did.

Melanie and I got together, and waited for Melanie's ex roommate, Melinda, whom I had known and was excited to see too, to come and meet us. We had snacks at some restaurant's happy hour and chilled out before going back to Melanie's place. Stephen, he husband, was at work. We chatted, eventually got some liquor, and started watching Pan's Labyrinth, which I had borrowed from Mandy, but like a retard, had never actually bothered to watch until I was supposed to return it. After Melinda had to leave, Melanie and I nursed our respective girly drinks for a few hours before Stephen came home, which is when we started doing shots. I learned new apprreciated for Jaeger, and tequila, and that there is a huge difference between good tequila and nasty tequilia.

We didn't have a lot of time to hang out in the morning, but we had stayed up late, and had a good time nonetheless. It had been 3 1/2 years or so since I had seen Melanie. I had never met Stephen, whom she had started dating a few months after I had last seen her. So it was good to catch up and hang out and just chill out. And of course, meet Stephen. He seems like good people, and I hadn't anticipated having much in common with him, but we did. He's a scifi geek and can, at the least, appreciate the gaming thing.

I left half a bottle of Malibu rum at Mel's place. Which means I need to go and collect it. Thinking of going to visit the weekend of my birthday if Cory and I don't make plans for a joint birthday thing.

Which brings us to the present, being in the car, driving back to Washington, and to Olympia, to hang out for the rest of the weekend at Cory's place. This was the first time that I had met Mandy's boyfriend, but he's pretty easy going and seems like a good guy. I guess I'm the only one who dates odd and strange people...?

Things have been a bit quieter for me, overall. With perhaps the notable exception of last weekend, prior to actually going to Cory's place for Olivia's birthday party. I woke up, and for inexplicable reasons, I didn't feel like going to Cory's place for the party. Despite being rather excited to see Olivia and watch her open presents and everything of the sort. It was a rather hard thing for me to even explain, and I don't think I even did, not even when I was trying to explain it to Regen in my next daily session with her. I went through quite a range of emotions that morning.

I called Cory, to try to tender my regrets for not going, or to ask her to convince me otherwise. In between serious strings of conversation, she commented on how Olivia would know that I wasn't there now, because she was old enough to recognize people. Emotional blackmail! Which was on a less serious note of the conversation, of course, she wasn't actually trying to guilt me into coming. There wasn't a real reason for not wanting to go, but there we are, and there was no explaination, and even now, really isn't.

I had made the decision to call and let Mandy know, who was going to pick me up on her way to Olympia.... Which reminds me, I had originally meant to go to Oly the day before, on my own, and I had been out cold until 3-4pm, which thoroughly and effectively scratches those plans. It's why I was going down with Mandy the next day. Anyhow, I had called to let Mandy know that she wouldn't be needing to stop in downtown. She told me that she was going to come and stop by anyhow, just to check in on me. When I got off the phone with her, for some reason, I started to cry hysterically. I was deeply upset by something, but for the life of me, I couldn't begin to explain. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and I am well aware of it.

Telephone tag with my sisters, to let Cory know that Mandy was stopping by, and for company until Mandy did show up. And then we sat around for about an hour, going through the photographs I had recently discovered in one of the boxes I had moved out of Cory's house (finally!) and had rescued from the mess that is our mother's house a few years ago. To spare the meter, Mandy wanted to go check on the car, and we did so, driving around the block. We saw the best little toy store ever, which is only really 2-3 blocks from my place, Magic Mouse Toys. It's where I had picked up my pirate flag in the old place and hung behind Murphy's cage. Anyhow. I suggested we stop there to see if I could find something for Olivia, because shopping for a three year old is a lot harder than you would expect.

I'm not sure how this turned to deciding to go to Olympia after all, but it did, and we went back to my place, so I could throw a few things into a bag to go. We were going to stop at Magic Mouse, but I changed my mind (again!) and told her to just get on the highway, because I didn't want to change my mind again until it was too late. Which is how I ended up going to Olivia's birthday party anyhow. I don't regret it. I came home that night as that Mandy decided to leave early to work on her paper due on Monday or Tuesday.

I started DBT two weeks ago, finally. It seems that once again, I'm moving forward in my overall progression of plans with finally getting into the group therapy part of DBT.

Trying to be aware of all of these things is difficult sometimes, more difficult than I would've thought possible. It seems so silly to even say so, but there it is.

Written Saturday, posted now, incomplete because I realized that if I didn't post it now, it may never get online. Incomplete, for another day, I guess.

Oh, and the newest Birthday Massacre album rocks.
tokimi: (hats off)
Who wants to go see the Golden Compass next weekend? Opening weekend, but not opening night. Time and date flexible pending on what people wanna do. I was gonna go see it with Melz but December hates us and we aren't getting together this weekend. Comment with suggestions of where and when if you're interested. I KNOW YOU ARE, AMY.

Oh, and my sister is the damned plague bringer. Getting sick. She got diagnosed with strep last week, so might be that, or just the flu. Hopefully just the flu.

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Tokimi

June 2011

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