tokimi: (prayer)
What is there to report? Nothing much has gone on.

My birthday was last week. I got some books, some kitchen y stuff that were needed, like a microwave and electric kettle, and some flowers, all of which I'm exceedingly excited about. I spent the birthday money from my grandmother on some stuff from Lush, bar shampoo which is amazing and awesome. I shared the Lush-love with my sister for her birthday. I bought a copy of Fight Club, because it was severely lacking in my movie collection. My sister took me out to dinner the day after my birthday in a joint celebration with hers and my birthday. Amy took me out to dinner the night of my birthday and we came back with mochi ice cream to watch Idiocracy. I don't think Amy stopped laughing.

Right now, I'm chilling out, watching Gladiator, watching Joaquin Phoenix emo the fuck out to the emperor.

Murphy seems to be settling in well! He's been showing off his desire for popcorn and bell hats. He seems to be happy. Which is good, I think I'll start trying to handle him in May. That gives him a few weeks to get settled in and used to the routine and everythiing.

Things between Eric and I seem to be going well. He's planning on visiting in June. Which is exciting and scary at the same time, but I'm mostly excited about it. It's hard not to be, really. Scared because I'm so unsure about about myself after the whole mess with Adam, and sorta with Kyle, that sort of rejection kinda burns in someone's mind, so what can you do? We've had talks about it, but I'm not allowed to be too emo about it because that's just a fucking downer. I think I'm mostly scared because of the way I put on the extra weight in my depression and the medications and the like. Not that I've ever been super skinny or anything like that.

Ugh, I don't want to sit here and spend all this time on my stupid weight. I'm going to start walking, and start yoga, and try to eat better, since I'm seeing a nutritionist next week.

No matter how often I refer to Eric as Eric to all of my friends, he's still Krisael in my head, which makes it feel like it's another secret altogether. Apparently other people have this problem as well. I know Patrick does, having read the entry I saw recently by him. Funny how that works. It amuses me somewhat. All of my friends and family know him as Eric. But in my brain, he's still Kris. Oh well, either name works, I know who he is.

We talk about the future a lot. After DBT, what will happen, leaving Seattle, leaving Alaska, who goes where, or if we both leave our area. We talk about going up to Alaska to see the northern lights in the winter and whether or not my coat is good enough at it's -10 degrees rating and what not. It's exciting. And seems only the tiniest bit premature, but somehow right.

I'm happy.
tokimi: (smile)
I told Eric I had never had a boyfriend send me flowers for my birthday or anything. So he decided to change that.


Flowers!
Flowers!



The rest will open in the next day or so. And I'll probably take pics of them, too.

Snip Snip

Sep. 16th, 2009 05:47 pm
tokimi: (shhh)
I was on the bus a few weeks ago, when this woman started to talk to me, because I had hair that was past my waist. She asked me if I was growing it out for any reason, and I just told her that no, I just keep it really long, and that it had been 6 years since I had last cut it. She said she was growing her hair out for Locks of Love, and that she was about to get ready to cut it. I explained that when I had cut off 18" a few years ago, it was too dyed to donate it.

It got me to thinking.

I thought about cutting my hair. And really started to consider it. I wasn't doing anything with it long. And I would like to donate at some point. So the more I thought of it, the more I realized I wanted to do it. So I made the appointment yesterday, and went in today.

The Reveal! )

18" in about one go, with an additonal 2" afterwards. Donated the majority to Locks of Love. I'm pretty happy with it. The stylist was awesome, and I really liked her. Put some layers into it so it released some of the natural curl and gave me some swoopy bangs that I need to train my hair into doing. Natural hair colour, looks black.

I didn't tell my sisters I was doing it. I see Mandy tomorrow and plan on surprising her. I will swear her to secrecy as well so I can surprise and shock Cory.
tokimi: (meeeee)
Since I got to Massachusetts, the weather's felt more appropriate to Seattle winters than New England summers. It was rainy, and overcast, and generally wet. Which isn't a huge deal, pretty used to that sorta thing, being as that I LIVE in Seattle and have for several years. But I was expecting to deal with hot, humid and the general nastiness that comes along with summers in this area. It has, finally cleared up, at least for a little bit, for which I am extremely glad.

I'm actually just sitting in my parents' yard, with the still massively huge golden retriever, Max. He's eating sticks, I'm blogging and listening to music on my iPod since I don't want to needlessly drain the battery on my laptop. I'm enjoying the warm weather, the nice, steady breeze and he outsideness from the shade of this huge oak tree. I should take pics of my parents' property, it's really very pretty, no surprise being out in the sticks somewhere, and Max probably would've been happier if he had grown up here, since he doesn't seem to like the big, wide openness in his old age. I just tried to convince him to give me this stick so I could throw it for him, but he wanted nothing to do with that. Hey, I tried. There is no accounting for dogs or their taste in persuits. Max's just happens to be devouring sticks, for whatever reason.

The flight down to Cali was a non event. Nothing to really comment about there. Quarla came and got me at the airport, and we chilled out for a few hours at her place before crashing for the night.

The next day, we went somewhere that was sorta equidistant from her, Joyless and Mikura and met the WoW-boys for lunch. Whereas I might have been a bit nervy about introducing one friend to a group of friends, it went rather well. She plays WoW, so getting along with other WoW dorks was pretty easy and nothing to be concerned about, as it turned out. We hung out all together for a bit, and Q suggested going to the Blizzard building and getting Murphy pics there on the way back to her place. We ended up splitting up for a bit, Q went back home to finish packing and the like, and I went with Mik and Joy and we all went to Blizzard. Joy works there, so he got us in past security and showed us around, after we signed this confidentiality waiver. I have pics of Murphy there, too.

I incidentally, also have pics of a finger printed smiley face on Mik's precious Infinity G35, and a couple of knicks in the paint. The knicks I am not responsible for, but I take pride in the smiley face, which he immediately wiped off with some spray stuff he keeps in the trunk after graciously letting me get a picture of it. I immediately posted the pic of the smiley on our guild forums, and have been bribed, since, to post the pics I took of Mik and Omatre on the forums in return for "any piece of loot off Yogg Saron" by our guild leader. I should hold out for the Soulscribe.

Mik bought me some In & Out that night and it was everything I remembered. Soooo gooooood... I ended up having two In & Out burgers in less than 24 hours, because Quarla and I got some when we stopped in Vegas and met her best friend, Manda.

Quarla's dad reminds me a lot of my dad. The tech nuts who want the perfect picture, the perfect audio experience for their movie viewing pleasure. They're both software engineers of a sort. Her dad seems a bit more easy going than mine, though. And my dad is taller and bigger. Heh.

The actual trip from Cali to NY/MA wasn't so bad. Spent approximately 2 of the 4 days in the car, if you do the math. About 12 hours in the car a day, for 4 days. We didn't get lost, but after hitting I-80, it was pretty easy. We did meet Smerffy and Omatre on the way out here, as well as stopping in Nebraska to see Stephanie, who put us up for the night and fed us. Steph and I stayed up until 2-3am and talked in her room while Q slept. My job was to stay awake and talk, and navigate, and to protect the geckos from direct sunlight, which I think I did admirably.

The geckos, 3 leopards named Ripley, Newt and Rising Fire, make me want to get geckos now, but I bet Adam would try to eat it and that would be pretty traumatic for all parties involved.

Also,4x RWs do not burn smoothly in a car. I imagine that 52x R's would, though! Thanks to Steph though, for the RWs, so we got some fresh music in the car after Lincoln.

I took some pics along the way. The scenary got boring after the Rockies until we got to NY. We did stop at two of the viewpoints in Utah and got some pictures. Quarla's camera picked up the colour differences a lot better than my new one did, but her's had a professional quality lens on it, so there you go.

We cut out the Buffalo detour, and just went from Toledo straight to Plattsburgh. Matt (Omatre) was pretty cool and came out to the hotel we were staying at and picked us up to take us out to a late dinner. He hung out with us in our hotel room for a few hours before we had to call it a night. Matt's pretty good people and I really enjoyed meeting him. We took a slight detour through the Adirondacks towards the end of the last leg, and it was very pretty. No cell reception to speak of though, but to be expected all things considered.

We stayed in Plattsburgh for a few days before we came down to my dad's place. It was an easy, 4 hour drive, and we even took the ferry over into Vermont across Lake Champlain. We went by Manchester, and I waved at people and the exits I knew, and gleed about being back in this area. We went to Boston on Sunday and met one of -her- friends, and he was a bit quiet and shy about me, but seemed like a pretty nice guy. Towards the end of the visit, he started getting a bit more talkative towards me, which was cool. I picked up a stupidly expensive Red Sox sweatshirt and the first book of Fathom that included the first 3 story arcs, which made me happy since my first volume of the graphic novel disappeared at some point. This book contained a bit more than the old copy, so it's all good.

And now, I am here, in Massachusetts, just sorta chilling out, waiting on people to get a hold of me. I recommend texting my phone (which you can do from my LJ profile) or IMing me on some messenger or another, because my dad's house is a cell phone black hole for me, and I barely get any reception to speak of out here. See this entry, which I had originally botched and posted as private: http://tokimi.livejournal.com/307775.html for my phone number or comment on it to make plans. ;)

I miss (----) since we haven't gotten to talk a whole lot with the 3 hour time difference and our difference in schedules. I've been asking him to wake me up when he's ready for bed so we've talked a bit then. I hope all is going well for him at home with the job hunt and the like.

I should be editing pictures and getting them posted fairly soon. (Fake) Murphy pictures especially.
tokimi: (blushing)
So.

So many things I could be writing about right now. But only a few lines, since I can't seem to sit down for long enough to write all of those things.

There's still a lot of stuff I need to do. And want to do. And want to make of my life. I want a house, I want my marvelous, custom built kitchen. I want a couple of cats, a dog or two, and Murphy (who will not be renamed Bread). I want to be a pastry chef. But to do all that, got to straighten shit out first. Always had a reason, never had much motivation until the last few months.

I'm actually pretty happy (content!) most of the time, when not in fits or episodes of anxiety, crazy or depression; those having come much less frequent, though. I'm inspired to work on all of those things I've been putting off in therapy. And those quirks that seem to entirely wreck my universe that are mostly of my own design. I attribute this to mostly to one of the most amazing people I've been blessed to meet. I don't know how they do it, but they do, and it's incredible to me. I'm very happy to have met them, and I'm glad that they're in my life. I will no doubt go on about (----) in the future, but for the moment, this being a quick update that's not entirely about them, it's not the time.

I have hesitated in writing about (----) for a few months now, and I don't particularly know why. Sometimes, things are like a bubble and the slightest outside pressure can pop it.

I'm 25 now. And it freaked me out for a while. I think I'm okay with it. I told (----), about something in their life, that it's a transitional period, that just because things are crappy now, doesn't mean they always will be. And really, it's the same thing, about my life. It's just easier to tell someone else that, than it is to believe it yourself.

Mandy and I went to the ballet a few days after my birthday, because they were performing Swan Lake, and it's been one of my favourite pieces of music for ages. I cried at the end of it, it was so moving, so beautiful. I will probably make an effort to go back and see Swan Lake everytime it's performed at the PNW Ballet after that. I really enjoyed the performance. I still mean to go to an opera at some point, but there's only two I really want to see, namely Don Giovanni and Aida.

My lip ring's been healing up pretty nicely. I got my ears all gauged up to 18s, including my cartiledge piercing. I thought they would all hurt a LOT more than they did. It was very anticlimatic. I'm thinking of maybe gauging my lowest earring to 14 or 12 to put in some of the more interesting pyrex "squid" pieces of jewelry. I'll have to look up some pics later. This being a quick update before I lose the determination to write.

I quit the WoW guild I had helped build and ran for the last 5 months. Pointedly, it had gotten to be a lot of stress. When I spend the first half hour or more of every nightly conversation with (----) bitching about it, it's gone too far. It wasn't fun anymore. It was more work than it should've been, and I shouldn't have been the only person busting their ass to make it all work out. After nearly a 2 month ultimatum, it's how things fell out. I admit to quitting in a fit of utter frustration and some what emo-ness, but it wasn't a huge surprise, and shouldn't have been, for the officers that it happened. I'd been saying I wanted to if things hadn't changed. And they didn't. In the two short weeks since I quit, the whole guild has fallen apart, which, in my opinion, pretty much underscores the fact that I had been single handedly running the guild.

Anyhow.

Lastly. [livejournal.com profile] quarla might need a traveling buddy for when she moves out to NY in late July. She asked me if I wanted to come, and offered to help pay for plane tickets to Socal and then back to Seattle. I'm heavily considering doing it, as it'll be a blast driving cross country again, and to see more of the sights (and maybe peoples along the way, [livejournal.com profile] dmoira). And it's a chance to see everyone back in NH whom I haven't seen since I graduated high school in 2002. I have no doubt that I can convince someone to meet us halfway in Burlington, Vermont to make the Margo exchange so I could go back to NH for a week or two and then fly out of Manchester or Boston to head home. It would be awesome to see everyone back east again, it's been so long. I need to email my dad about it, and see about his plans.

And that's all I'm committing to for right now. Once again, I'll try to write more again in the future, but I say that alot, and it never comes through.

Question

May. 4th, 2009 03:04 am
tokimi: (shadowed)
How do you motivate yourself to do the shit that needs to be done?

I find myself ignoring things and never getting around to it, and so far nothing seems to be able to break this habit, no matter how many times I've tried to. Being as Nike suggests and "just doing it" doesn't ever seem to work, as much as it should?
tokimi: (smirk)
I guess I could take the time, while I sit in this ridiculously long queue, to report of at least my gaming doings as of late.

* Took over the reformed guild in WoW. Pros and cons abound this. Pros, it seems to be working out for the guild as a whole, the cons being that the drama that sometimes occurs is horrible and so stressful. The old GM quit abruptly and left the guild to the highest ranking person online at the time, the recruiter, a friend of mine. He turned it over to me as one of two officers after the GM left. I've been running it since February.
---I made them suffer through the only progression we have tonight, 3 hours straight of 3 drakes up in 25 man Obsidian Sanctum. We were steadily getting better. Damien and I think this is largely due to the copious amounts of Eye of the Tiger being played.
---I have threatened to DE "all their fucking shit if they didn't get their fucking dragons off the god damned fucking chest" one night in Malygos. They do not stand on the chest anymore.

* Bought a gaming laptop, a Gateway FX and it's so sexy, I almost want to make passionate, impotent geek love to it.

* Bought a DS Lite, in silver. I want game recommendations.

* Downloaded the Chinese Open Beta client for AION. With the help of Kyle (previously unmentioned from WoW), the client's now in English. It's this queue I've been sitting in for the last hour or so, so I can play on the server he started on. I had the client stop downloading twice, before I finally torrented it, so I'm a day behind him. Kyle, however, did not have these problems. He's made a video and done some screenshots for the game so far. And a how to get the client in English.
---To any of my friends out there, I can hook you up with where and how to do all of this, if you're so inclined.

I had the flu?! yesterday. Cory said that's what happens when you run a fever, have chills, and are sore and achey all over. It sucked, nonetheless.

Lip's healed up! Looks rather cute, if I do say so myself.

My birthday is in a week. Mandy and I are going to see Swan Lake next Saturday. I'm very excited. It's one of my most favourite pieces of music, evar. I'll prolly make a pilgrimage to Oregon the following week, but I suppose I should talk to Melz about that, first.
tokimi: (smug)


About 90 minutes ago.

PS: Yes, the lip ring is new, got it done about 10 minutes before that pic was taken, which was done tonight, lol.

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