Memories in Paraphrase

So, I finished the Twilight series. And they aren't that bad, the writing wasn't spectacular, the intense love at first sight thing a bit too much, even for the sake of the story, and some of it was a bit contrived... Now that I think on it, the first person view, the fact that all the boys seem to want the main character, the clumsy, self deprecating main character from a somewhat broken home, the fact that said main character also not only has a penchant for over theatrics, but that she repeatedly stupidly throws herself into danger to save the day, sorta reminds me of either Usagi of Sailormoon or some of the less Sue-ish self insertion fanfic authors. The ending was rather anticlimatic for the last book, and that was a little annoying, but I suppose I've being a bit over critical. The books read rather fast, there weren't a lot of attempts at subterfuge, and very, very little came off as surprising throughout all of the novels. But, on the other hand, they were entertaining, and let's face it, when it comes down to it, I love a little bit of the forbidden love aspect. I'm a sucker for it, in fact.

The only other disturbing fact I notice, having read the books, is now I want to RP some vampirey goodness, or some forbidden love, or something like that. Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to do this with. AND. I don't really want to add to atrocious Twilight fanfics that I'm sure are cropping up like the plague all over the internet. Don't get me wrong, I've written atrocious fanfiction, I like -some- fanfiction... but it looks like the majority of the people who are fangirls of the series are probably 14 or something and chances are, can't write for shit. Huzzah. I don't want to be a fangirl. I will not write fanfiction.

Ugh. I almost miss my old VTM days on IRC. Who am I kidding, I really do miss the old VTM days... I miss the old school, elitest whore RP I used to do. Damn everyone for scattering to the winds for no discernable reason.

So, I'm chilling at my sister's place for the moment. Prolly going home on Tuesday. Well, I have to go home on Tuesday, I see Regen that day, so, have to bus back up to Seattle.

It's September. I can't believe it's September. The year feels almost over. Halloween is near, and then it's just a tumble into the end of the year holidays. Which seems so odd it's hard to describe. Time seems to move so fast now, I wonder if this is just a symptom of growing older. I could do without it. I'll be 30 forever and alone. I do not thrill at this idea.

Being crazy definitely has some downsides.

PS: Murphy is crazy, too. I can't wait to have my emo parrot back.
PS pt2: Stephanie Meyer thanks Muse in her books, and acknowledges them as well. It doesn't surprise me that she would be listening to something like -Muse- to write those books.

Everyone keeps telling me that I ought to update my livejournal. Well. I can't even say it's everyone, because the number of people who read it are few and far between, so I guess that's just a bit of an exageration. Either way, not really a big deal? It's healthy for me to write, and I really should be trying to write more. Sometimes, I just sit at the keyboard and not write. Or I do something else, but essentially, it's the same thing and it's not writing.

Right now, however, there are few other things for me to be doing. I'm in the car, on I-5 and we'd just crossed the bridge into Washington.

I slept rather well. But that could've been the awesome pile of pillows, or the fact that I was drunk at the time. Either way, I slept well, even without my nightcap of jaegerbomb, which is just as well when you consider that taking a shot of an energy drink right before sleep is counterproductive.

It's Easter weekend. At Olivia's birthday party, Mandy had asked if she and her boyfriend, Darren, could come over to Cory's place for Easter. Originally, Cory hadn't had any really big plans for Easter. Our family's got 2-3 holidays that require get togethers. And Easter really isn't one of them. But then we decided anyway to go over and do something, regardless. A quiet, small affair, without much ado.

Mandy messaged me a few days ago to let me know that I could hook a ride with her, Darren and Tina on their way to Portland. It only occurred to me on Thursday, that if they were going all the way to Portland, who's to say that I shouldn't come with them and harass Melanie and her husband, whom I had never met? Which was exactly what I did.

Melanie and I got together, and waited for Melanie's ex roommate, Melinda, whom I had known and was excited to see too, to come and meet us. We had snacks at some restaurant's happy hour and chilled out before going back to Melanie's place. Stephen, he husband, was at work. We chatted, eventually got some liquor, and started watching Pan's Labyrinth, which I had borrowed from Mandy, but like a retard, had never actually bothered to watch until I was supposed to return it. After Melinda had to leave, Melanie and I nursed our respective girly drinks for a few hours before Stephen came home, which is when we started doing shots. I learned new apprreciated for Jaeger, and tequila, and that there is a huge difference between good tequila and nasty tequilia.

We didn't have a lot of time to hang out in the morning, but we had stayed up late, and had a good time nonetheless. It had been 3 1/2 years or so since I had seen Melanie. I had never met Stephen, whom she had started dating a few months after I had last seen her. So it was good to catch up and hang out and just chill out. And of course, meet Stephen. He seems like good people, and I hadn't anticipated having much in common with him, but we did. He's a scifi geek and can, at the least, appreciate the gaming thing.

I left half a bottle of Malibu rum at Mel's place. Which means I need to go and collect it. Thinking of going to visit the weekend of my birthday if Cory and I don't make plans for a joint birthday thing.

Which brings us to the present, being in the car, driving back to Washington, and to Olympia, to hang out for the rest of the weekend at Cory's place. This was the first time that I had met Mandy's boyfriend, but he's pretty easy going and seems like a good guy. I guess I'm the only one who dates odd and strange people...?

Things have been a bit quieter for me, overall. With perhaps the notable exception of last weekend, prior to actually going to Cory's place for Olivia's birthday party. I woke up, and for inexplicable reasons, I didn't feel like going to Cory's place for the party. Despite being rather excited to see Olivia and watch her open presents and everything of the sort. It was a rather hard thing for me to even explain, and I don't think I even did, not even when I was trying to explain it to Regen in my next daily session with her. I went through quite a range of emotions that morning.

I called Cory, to try to tender my regrets for not going, or to ask her to convince me otherwise. In between serious strings of conversation, she commented on how Olivia would know that I wasn't there now, because she was old enough to recognize people. Emotional blackmail! Which was on a less serious note of the conversation, of course, she wasn't actually trying to guilt me into coming. There wasn't a real reason for not wanting to go, but there we are, and there was no explaination, and even now, really isn't.

I had made the decision to call and let Mandy know, who was going to pick me up on her way to Olympia.... Which reminds me, I had originally meant to go to Oly the day before, on my own, and I had been out cold until 3-4pm, which thoroughly and effectively scratches those plans. It's why I was going down with Mandy the next day. Anyhow, I had called to let Mandy know that she wouldn't be needing to stop in downtown. She told me that she was going to come and stop by anyhow, just to check in on me. When I got off the phone with her, for some reason, I started to cry hysterically. I was deeply upset by something, but for the life of me, I couldn't begin to explain. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and I am well aware of it.

Telephone tag with my sisters, to let Cory know that Mandy was stopping by, and for company until Mandy did show up. And then we sat around for about an hour, going through the photographs I had recently discovered in one of the boxes I had moved out of Cory's house (finally!) and had rescued from the mess that is our mother's house a few years ago. To spare the meter, Mandy wanted to go check on the car, and we did so, driving around the block. We saw the best little toy store ever, which is only really 2-3 blocks from my place, Magic Mouse Toys. It's where I had picked up my pirate flag in the old place and hung behind Murphy's cage. Anyhow. I suggested we stop there to see if I could find something for Olivia, because shopping for a three year old is a lot harder than you would expect.

I'm not sure how this turned to deciding to go to Olympia after all, but it did, and we went back to my place, so I could throw a few things into a bag to go. We were going to stop at Magic Mouse, but I changed my mind (again!) and told her to just get on the highway, because I didn't want to change my mind again until it was too late. Which is how I ended up going to Olivia's birthday party anyhow. I don't regret it. I came home that night as that Mandy decided to leave early to work on her paper due on Monday or Tuesday.

I started DBT two weeks ago, finally. It seems that once again, I'm moving forward in my overall progression of plans with finally getting into the group therapy part of DBT.

Trying to be aware of all of these things is difficult sometimes, more difficult than I would've thought possible. It seems so silly to even say so, but there it is.

Written Saturday, posted now, incomplete because I realized that if I didn't post it now, it may never get online. Incomplete, for another day, I guess.

Oh, and the newest Birthday Massacre album rocks.